Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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