I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
