it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
