I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize