She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
