youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
