I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
