C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize