pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
