Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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