Redeem this text for a blowjob
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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