Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
