Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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