you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Randomize
