There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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