New low: just hacked my moms facebook
barbara walters just said penis...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
