Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
