Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I still have a little drunk in my system
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
