guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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