I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
