I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
