dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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