so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
