I got chris browned last night
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
