just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
