Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
