whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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