I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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