Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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