Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
