so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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