watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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