im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
