Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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