You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
