if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
