yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
