He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
