Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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