thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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