i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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