yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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