I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
