There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
