Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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