this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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