Small penises have feelings too.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
