Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
