after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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