i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
