I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
