We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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