you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
