She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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