Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
