This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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