but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
