dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
